Monday, November 27, 2006

new blog!

I have once again transplanting myself in the internet world. You can find my new blog here:

Saturday, November 25, 2006

the beems

Emilina Ballerina

This is my sister Emily. Toots. The Beems. As you can tell, she totally rocks. Rocks my socks off.

Monday, November 20, 2006

stupid school

School requires responsibility and staying put and not vagabonding around for days and months and weeks. Rather than heaps of good conversation, I have to study. And I find this really lame.

I wish I didn't want to be in school.

But I do want to be in school.


Sunday, November 19, 2006



A fire has risen above my tombstone hat.
I don't want learning, or dignity,
or respectability.

I want this music and this dawn
and the warmth of your cheek against mine.


And that's all there is to it.

*note: I'm not being gooshy- the poem's about God.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


(I love late November because the leaves are gone and I can see everything more clearly- not just the sky.)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

i would love to kiss you


I would love to kiss you.
The price of kissing is your life.

Now my loving is running toward my life shouting,
What a bargain, let's buy it.

(I get to read a big beautiful book of Rumi for Islam class. This class reminds me why I'm in college.)

Adam and I chatted on the sofa. Well, I mostly chatted, he mostly listened. I was a bit tearsy, with little white drops falling now and again. I said, "I would rather ache and search for God than find everything else in the world. That not-having is more real than the having of anything else." That is true. And I would give my life for one Touch on the cheek because those brushes and glances and kisses are what make my life alive and I'd rather live one day with them than a hundred years without. I am thankful for this ache that keeps me awake tonight. I am thankful for life and I am thankful for longing. And I am thankful that I am longed for.

Good night and sweet dreams everyone.

Monday, November 13, 2006


terrace in november

Someone that really cares a lot about me said yesterday that their biggest wish for me was that I would always know love.

I thought about it for a while, and I couldn't think of a better thing to wish someone.

What do you wish for the people you love- your family, your friends?

Saturday, November 11, 2006


snowy little street behind my house

Thursday: sunshine. high of 68 degrees
Friday: wet wet wet snow snow snow.

Welcome to Wisconsin.

(yes, i like this weather)

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


the lake on a very very still very very beautiful day

reminder to myself: relax. just breathe. just be real. be yourself. be open. breathe.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

are you a grown-up?


Hunting for acorns on the Capitol's lawn, the squirrels are out. The hats are out; the scarves are out; the mittens aren't out yet, but will be soon. Big winter coats are out as are big cups of cocoa and coffee (no more smoothie weather here!). The sun is out and I am out, walking through it all and the giant leaves littering the ground. I really like November, and I really like long days when I can walk slowly.

It was a good day, yesterday, full of slow-walking things like co-op grocery shopping, white cheddar cheese, magazine-clipping prayers, bread baking, cherry flavored pipes, studying in pajamas, long walks and talks while dark is coming, nibbling soybeans with friends, laughing with coffee, watching Sex and the City and South Park with Adam. Oh, I love the weekends!

Me and two of my old roommates went to dinner together last night. I can't believe it was just under three months ago that we lived in the Yellow Castle on Gorham. It seems very far away. So much has changed. I pronounce things differently. I say "car-a-mel" instead of "carm-el." I have shorter hair, now. I spend a lot more money on coffee. I'm busier. More independent. More social. More boyfriended. I have a cat. I cook more. Jog less. I bike places. I budget. I'm in debt. I'm starting to learn how to keep my room clean. I've grown fond of rye bread, learned how to make a good cup of green tea (quality tea bags- you aren't supposed to use boiling water not let it steep more than two minutes). I have a crock pot. And use it.

If this is what growing-up is, I like it. Mostly.

What is growing-up? Are you a grown-up?

Friday, November 03, 2006


Lunch today:

Warm fresh homemade wheat/oatmeal bread with butter. Milk. A big organic figi apple. Dried white Turkish figs that taste like honey.

I love grocery-day Fridays.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


horse and buggy
(a picture from last november)

It's November. Isn't that wonderful?!

I like November. I really do. I daresay it's my favorite month of autumn. A lot of people don't like November. They say it's impredictable, disagreeable. I happen to like impredictable, disagreeable things. I like that I'm never sure whether to wear a light jacket or my warm winter coat. I like how the air clenches it's fists into tight icy balls. I like watching the last of the leaves fall.

It's really the anticipation that woos me. Watching the weather for snow and the trees for lights. Waiting for Thanksgiving. Yearning for winter and the holidays to begin. It's wonderful.

So, I welcome you November, with enthusiasm and anticipation. I look forward to seeing what this month brings.

Do you like November?